I’m going to come clean to you all. I may be wrong for feeling this way. My reality is my reality. Lately… I’ve felt very worked up. I’ve felt upset. I’ve felt wronged. I’ve felt cheated. I’ve felt almost angry.
What about? My ex-husband.
Why? Haven’t you moved on? Yes, of course I have, but no one can just forget all the abuse and lies and victimization they’ve been through. The same is for me. Much more, when your ex reaches back out to you, being the same control and manipulative freak as before, it doesn’t exactly incite kind feelings.
Let me explain …
Recently, my ex reached out through email due to a mistake made by the IRS in distributing stimulus checks. I ended up getting my ex’s half along with my own. Now, I never received the email because, as can be expected, I blocked him on everything. I blocked him on all social media platforms, email, and his phone number. He had said he was going to do the same, but apparently not … (see screenshot for evidence).
“I’m going to go ahead and block your email now … Goodbye Analee”
I mean, the guy obviously didn’t do it and boy do I wish he had. Whatever. But me? I did. And so, as per his old ways, he reached out to my dad… as if he wanted to get caught up in all this again, much less me. I’m more than happily married so why does he have to be this constant rock in my shoe I can’t shake out?
My mom reached out to me letting me know that my ex reached out to my dad. I was overwhelmed with shock, surprise, anger, and felt my stomach just drop. My mom informed me that he wanted his stimulus check and forwarded me the emails.
“…I would like to rectify it.” My thoughts? Really? Really?? You’d like to rectify it? Because you certainly haven’t cared to rectify anything else in your life unless it somehow benefited you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful you left because I would’ve kept living in hell if you hadn’t, but not once have you tried to apologize or acknowledge your serious wrongs, allegations, abuses, or narcissistic behaviors. Heck, you never even apologized for lying about pornography, and I’m talking a real apology. I don’t mean the weasly apology you gave me because my dad was standing right there, or because your dad was on the phone, or because my mom scared the living daylights out of you. No, I mean a real apology because you finally understand how incredibly wrong you were and still are.
Also, gotta say, love the demand at the end: “Get back to me as soon as possible.” You really haven’t changed, have you?
Let’s move on to the beautiful nuggets in your email to me and then to what happened.
First, let’s clear something up. The day you left and took more than half of what was in our bank account, the day you wouldn’t respond to me, the day you didn’t have the balls to tell me to my face much less call me to tell me that you were leaving me, yeah that day, I closed that “joint account” we had and created a new one. So that account was not ever yours. I couldn’t risk you stealing more and having access to the account.
Second, how dare you demand that I find a time on “Monday or Tuesday” because it’s convenient for you. *NEWS FLASH* The world still doesn’t revolve around you. I actually have a job. Do you? I also run my own business. Do you? I have a life. Do you? I have a spouse. Do you? I live in my own place. Do you? My point? I actually work and continue to work for what I have, both physically, temporally, spiritually, and emotionally.
Thirdly, that’s the first honest thing I think I’ve ever heard you say. “You deserve it.” I do. I really do. I deserve happiness. I deserve the marriage I now have. I deserve to be a mom. I deserve to be successful. I deserve my incredible husband. I deserve the life I live and I definitely don’t need you to tell me that. You could’ve at least attempted a partial apology and added on, “You deserve it after all I put you through.” There would be at least some form of humility in that.
So, what happened? I was fuming reading all this. How dare he speak to me that way! My husband immediately recognized it and took over the situation. He reached out to my ex, through email, and they came to an agreement on how they’d proceed. My husband first made it very clear that all communication was to come through him, not me. Then my husband said he would get the funds from me and then contact the bank and/or my ex.
My ex completely ignored this, called the bank and then the bank calls me. I was at work, but if the bank calls, I answer. What if it’s important? When I answer the phone the agent informs me she has my ex on the other line to take care of the transfer. I was literally shaking and all the anxiety I felt during those last several months of my first marriage swept over me. I just wanted it done. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?
My husband is, of course, livid. So many boundaries were crossed and the lack of respect is real. My family and I had previously informed my husband about how terrible my ex was. How much he lied, manipulated, and did whatever he wanted to get what he wanted. Let’s be honest. It sounded a little crazy and extreme to him that someone could be like that. But now? Now my husband finally understands. He finally understands the anger and the occasional PTSD I experience. He finally understands why I just gave in to so much because, in the end, literally the end, he wasn’t worth the fight.
And let me tell you this. Next time he tries to come around getting something he frankly, doesn’t deserve and owes me because of how much he cheated out of me financially, don’t expect any cooperation or respect from us. You’ve all but lost that. If there is a next time, that stimulus check will be sent right back where it came from – the IRS.
Someday, you’ll get what you deserve. Being forced to relive parts of my past is ugly and having to face it kills me because it hurts. I realize now that I will have to forgive you over and over and probably over again because just hearing someone with your name or seeing a Black Honda Accord just makes me hate you all over again. You are despicable.
But you are right. I deserve everything I have now. So thank you for leaving me since you couldn’t change. Really, thank you.
