Let’s rewind to April 2, 2022. It was General Conference weekend and I was home alone with Kimberlee. Anthony was out working and right as the talks were about to begin I had laid Kimberlee down for a nap. April General Conference is always hard for me and this year, it was especially so. Adlee’s …
Here’s my “abortion” story. It was April 9, 2020 and Anthony and I went in for an anatomy ultrasound at almost 21 weeks gestation. There was no heartbeat. Our baby had died at least 2 weeks prior if not more. My body didn’t get the memo and was holding onto a life that no longer …
Pregnancy after loss is like being on the longest and most intense roller coaster ride you’ve ever been on. You’re getting on the ride and you’re excited and nervous at the same time. As the ride progresses you continue to experience excitement and then also fear when you come to big drops, twists, and turns. …
Here I am at almost 4:00am on Christmas morning and it’s finally setting in … the fact that today would’ve been my daughter’s first Christmas. Yes, she would’ve only been four months old if carried full-term, but I still would’ve had so much fun buying her cute outfits and making her little stuffed animals, booties, …
Losing Adlee was incredibly hard and then there was a calm … a long calm. Feeling ready, my husband and I have been trying for almost seven months and well … still not being pregnant has also been hard. Put both of those together and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a broken heart, mother, …
A little over a week ago I finally called in an SOS to God. I was hurt. I was angry. The only person there seemed to blame was God … and the only person who could ultimately help me was also God. So I called out… God, I’m mad at You. I’m mad that You …
To my ladies with PCOS … we have a problem or rather problems. Our hormones are out of whack creating all kinds of problems. We struggle with our weight, hormonal acne, we either are pre-diabetic or have diabetes and maybe even have problems with our thyroid. All of these issues lead to infertility, high-risk pregnancies, …
Tomorrow, August 24th, 2020, is our daughter’s due date. The only thing is, she won’t be coming because she’s already gone. I have experienced a lot of emotions with this day approaching. I have felt emotional because she won’t be here with us in this life. We never got to hear her cry, see …
If you are like me, you have a perfect angel in heaven. Maybe you have multiple. My heart goes out to you. I understand your pain. I understand your sorrow. I understand the love. I understand the sadness. I understand the need for answers, and I understand the quest for hope. I believe there …
I have been told that grief is just love with nowhere to go. What do we do with that love then? How can we give it a place to go so that, amongst the tears of losing a loved one, we can pick ourselves up and in a sense, move on? I will start by …
It seems to me that my birthday brings a heaviness upon my heart and mind. Last year as I turned 24, I found myself lying on my bedroom floor in my wedding dress sobbing, feeling lost, alone, and defeated. I felt depressed. I was not only single but divorced and I still wasn’t a mother. …
Tonight I was talking with a friend who lost her baby a month ago today. We were exchanging experiences and feelings with the struggles we have as an unseen mother and a poem began to form. As I was putting on the finishing touches, I realized that this is a message from our angel children. …