Losing Adlee was incredibly hard and then there was a calm … a long calm. Feeling ready, my husband and I have been trying for almost seven months and well … still not being pregnant has also been hard. Put both of those together and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a broken heart, mother, wife, and spirit.
In my brokenness, the strongest storm hit with its winds and torrential rainstorms, taking down everything in its path. When it finally ended, the heavens were silent as can be, and only now has light begun to creep back in.
As I took pictures of my sweet new nephew, Chad a few weeks ago there was something about his face that reminded me SO MUCH of Adlee💕. I tried to figure out what it was and I just couldn’t pin it down. There was something though, something about his face that looked just like her.
At the moment, I couldn’t figure out what it was. It has now come to me that perhaps the Lord let me “see” my daughter through my nephew. I was blessed to see Adlee’s likeness in my nephew, Chad.
Maybe it sounds crazy, but it’s what I felt and saw … almost overwhelmingly so.
The last couple of months have been some of my most challenging as I’ve gone through a spiritual and emotional Hurricane which reached havoc on my mind and heart.
I’ve been at war with myself and with God and am once again rebuilding my trust in God’s plan and will for me. The torrential storm that was raging inside of me has finally ended and now I’m rebuilding certain parts of myself and finding inner peace and fulfillment without having children in the here and now.
I’m grateful for the glimpses of hope and light in once again receiving as I move forward in what feels like the longest chapter of my life.
