In my efforts to be more transparent with all the hate and opposition I am facing in relation to my ex, I am publicizing some emails I’ve sent. This email was one I sent on March 2, 2019 almost a month after my ex left. I will be substituting his name with “Casey”.
“Casey,
I just want to say I’m sorry for not loving you unconditionally and with real love. I’ve been reading this book and I’ve realized I didn’t always give you the real love you needed. I had no idea, but now I do and I want you to know I am so sorry. I’m not trying to get you back, but if I could do it over again, I would, even if it ended again because I’ve learned and grown a lot. I’ve been strengthened in more ways than I can count. Most importantly, I would know how to love you in a more real way that your needs would’ve been better met and I would’ve been less demanding in you making changes I believed to be necessary and I believed you needed to learn and get on board with. There’s a better and a higher way. I know that now. You deserved more from me, and now that I know, it’s too late, so all I can say is I’m sorry.
I don’t expect a response, and I’m not sure I even want one, but I wanted you to know that I’m sorry for the hurt and pain my ignorance, lack of real unconditional love, and understanding brought upon you. I’m not saying I didn’t love you, because I did and I still do. That’s not going away overnight or with signing divorce papers. I am saying there is a level of love that you needed that I didn’t understand and it brought you pain. I hope and pray that someday you will truly be able to forgive me and that you will find healing, not just from me, but from everything.
Best Wishes,
Analee Bekmezian”
